Still Here...

I've decided to step down from the crazy wagon.  I'm feeling a little better, but it hasn't come easily.  I've had to work on it by forcing myself to meditate on the positive.  After my little blog puke fest the other week (aka "Most Depressing Post to Date"), things were looking a whole lot worse for a bit.  I got a call from one of my oldest and dearest friends.  She had been trying to get a hold of me for awhile, but I had been avoiding her call.  I knew.  I just knew she was pregnant.  I ignored her calls until I had to admit to myself that I was being unfair.  What kind of friend would I be to not allow her to share her good news?  Feeling my heart sink down to my stomach, I picked up the phone and called her back.  As soon as the words were out of her mouth, hot tears welled up in my eyes, and I quickly tried to blink them away.  Successfully hiding the squeak in my voice, I managed my way through the conversation -- asked all the right questions and was even able to throw enough enthusiasm in my voice when I congratulated them.  Man.  That phone call hit me like a truck.  I love this couple, but they are another example of those who decided to get pregnant, and the plan is carried out to perfection.  She got off birth control; they went on one last great vacation, and BAM – pregnant.  Just the vacation in and of itself is enough to drive me batty.  It’s been a LONG time since we’ve had a vacation.  It’s crazy depressing to watch all of our resources being dumped into something that comes so easily to most. 

But I digress, I’m starting to wallow again; so let’s move on. 

Yes, I’m feeling better.  My friends have been such a blessing. One of my girlfriends and I went and indulged in stupid good fun the other week -- SLEDDING!  It was a blast!  Soaked, cold, and covered in bruises, we went down the hill again and again, only to crash just about every time before trudging back up the hill.  Awesome. 

Then my small group peeps took two whole days to help us repaint our entire upstairs.  Henry and I are so touched that people would take the time to endure the tedium of painting.  They somehow transformed a tiresome, boring affair into a good time.  Somehow between singing along to the radio, eating pizza, and having interesting conversations, I found myself enjoying the whole masking, rolling affair. 

And finally, there was the snowboarding trip last weekend.  I've never had such a good time falling on my booty again and again and AGAIN.  For an entire day, I didn’t have to force thoughts out, or avoid areas of conversation.  It was a relief.  I felt free in the fresh, cold air as I cruised (yes, I’m using that term loosely) down the hills.  I hope to get my own board so I can enjoy it more often. 

So, “Thank You”, friends.  I thank God for you.  I wouldn’t be standing as straight as I am today without you.