Bitter Old Hag...Yup that's me!

Seriously.  I think I am going to have to start hiding people on facebook.  Tonight was another night of stumbling upon happy belly/ultrasound pics.  Yay!  More fun announcements that have completely caught me off guard.  Here I was....doing so well...feeling so optimistic.  The acupuncture seems to be doing something.  No, I still haven't had a period...but I have felt things.  Some cramping, some ovary pain.  But still...no period.  I still feel like a man-child.  And yet, all these youngin's on facebook just keep on getting pregnant.  I try so hard not to sneer....especially at the ones that just "oops...got preggo!!"  How in the heck can it be so simple for some, and so seemingly impossible to others??  I try so hard not to get bitter and hate them for their happy, happy posts.  And yet, the tears come.  I don't even try to stop them anymore.  I cry.  Hard.  Allowing myself to have long, hard belly cries allows me to pick myself up more easily and move on.  I heard somewhere once that crying releases toxins from cells that allows one to feel less stressed and more positive after.  At least that is the justification I am currently using.  But I've gotten better at hiding my emotional outbursts.  I simply take a shower.  Crying in the shower makes it harder for Henry to hear me.  When is it going to be my turn????  When will God answer MY prayers???  I suppose my only relief tonight is to know that crying is okay.  It's good to feel.  It's human.  Someday this will all make sense...